私がTOEFL iBTのライティングで29点を獲得した私のエッセイを公開します|Independent



今回は、私がTOEFL iBTのライティングで29点を獲得時に練習で書いたIndependent writing(総合問題)のエッセイを公開します!


また、紹介するライティングはTOEFL iBTライティング勉強法の記事で紹介した構成と書き方に沿って書いていますので、実際に自分がその書き方で書く時にどんな感じで書くかの参考にもしてください。



私がおすすめするTOEFL iBT Independent問題の構成と書き方

TOEFL iBT Independentの問題において私がオススメする構成、書き方は以下の通りです。

パラグラフ1 イントロダクション(約50文字、3文)
パラグラフ2 ボディ1(約180~220文字、9~11文)
パラグラフ3 ボディ2(約180~220文字、9~11文)
パラグラフ4 コンクルージョン(約50文字、2~3文)




私が書くTOEFL iBTのライティングはこんな感じ!(Independent編)

Do you agree or disagree with the following?"To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors"



Nowadays, the quality of education has been increasingly integral to our lives. Some people believe that universities should increase salaries paid to university professors to enhance this quality, whereas others may disagree. In my view, it is imperative to pay higher remuneration to teachers at universities to improve the quality of education.

To begin with, money acts as a precursor to providing professors with incentives to perform better. If professors are paid higher salaries, they will be more encouraged to take responsibilities in delivering well-developed lectures. For example, when I was in my first year at Tokyo University, which is one of the most famous universities in Japan, I was so disappointed by the quality of classes lead by professors. They used the same slides and materials every year and did not even change the content of exams. Although this made it significantly easy for students to achieve satisfactory results on the exams, they did not dedicate themselves to studies as they knew that they would be able to pass the exams at relevant ease. Since I was a student who always wanted to get challenged by teachers and work hard, this unfortunate fact smashed my expectation into shreds. However, when I was in my second year, the university decided to increase salaries paid to its professors by approximately 10 percent as the university became aware that low remuneration was causing serious problems in the quality of sessions. Surprisingly, this change was effective enough to have many professors alter their teaching styles and make their lectures more interactive and challenging. This example evidently portrays how remuneration can positively affect the quality of education.

Furthermore, gratifying professors with high salaries paves the way for sustainable operations of universities, which is essential in the stable delivery of quality education. For instance, Hokkai University, one of the local universities in my hometown, merged with a different university in 2002 due to low morale of university professors, the main cause of which was low pay. At that time, the university was in a healthy financial condition thanks to a huge amount of grants from the local government, but it spent most of it on refurbishing its facilities, not on compensating teachers. The act of the university was taken negatively by many professors and this lead to a decrease in their motivation. Consequently, many of the professors left the university and moved to different universities that extended better offers. All of this resulted in the merger and apparently this was not a favorable outcome for either the university or its students. Therefore, there is no doubt that spending more money on professors’ salaries is the key to a successful operation of universities and quality education offered thereby.

In summary, the university should spend more of its income on professors’ salaries. Not only will this motivate the professors but also this lowers the risk for universities to lose them. Considering that professors play an extremely vital role in the rendering quality education, we should encourage universities not to stint on professors' remuneration.(506 Words)



  • イントロダクション(52語、3文)
  • ボディ1(221語、8文)
  • ボディ2(179語、7文)
  • コンクルージョン(54語、3文)



私のTOEFL iBTライティングに関してコメント

私のTOEFL iBTのライティングに関して、役に立ちそうな情報を共有しておきますね。


しかし、TOEFL iBTのライティングでは皆さんの英語をチェックしており、書かれている内容が事実に基づいているかをチェックしているわけではありません。




今回は私が書くTOEFL iBTのライティングをご紹介しました。

何度も言いますが、これは満点の模範解答ではなく、あくまで私が立案したTOEFL iBTの構成に従い私の持っている力で書いたエッセイの例です。この英作文を使用して、どのように自分のライティングに役立てるかは皆さん次第です。




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