私がTOEFL iBTのライティングで29点を獲得した私のエッセイを公開します｜Independent

パラグラフ1 イントロダクション（約50文字、3文）
パラグラフ2 ボディ１（約180～220文字、9～11文）
パラグラフ3 ボディ2（約180～220文字、9～11文）
パラグラフ4 コンクルージョン（約50文字、2～3文）

＜問題＞
Do you agree or disagree with the following?"To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors"
「教育の質を上げるために、大学は大学教授の給与にもっとお金を使うべきだ。賛成か反対か。」

Nowadays, the quality of education has become increasingly integral to our lives. Some people believe that universities should increase salaries paid to university professors to enhance this quality, whereas others may disagree. In my view, it is imperative to pay higher remuneration to teachers at universities to improve the quality of education.

To begin with, money acts as a precursor to providing professors with incentives to perform better. Professors will be more encouraged to take on more responsibilities in delivering well-developed lectures if they are paid more. For example, when I was in my first year at Tokyo University, which is one of the most famous universities in Japan, I was so disappointed by the quality of classes led by professors. They used the same slides and materials every year and did not even change the content of the exams. Even though this made it much easier for students to get good grades on their exams, they didn't put much effort into studying because they knew they could pass the exams with little trouble. Since I was a student who always wanted to get challenged by teachers and work hard, this unfortunate fact smashed my expectations to shreds. However, when I was in my second year, the university decided to increase the salaries paid to its professors by approximately 10 percent, as the university had become aware that low remuneration was causing serious problems in the quality of sessions. Surprisingly, this change was effective enough to have many professors alter their teaching styles and make their lectures more interactive and challenging. This example evidently demonstrates how remuneration can positively affect the quality of education.

Furthermore, gratifying professors with high salaries paves the way for sustainable operations of universities, which is essential for the stable delivery of quality education. For instance, Hokkai University, one of the local universities in my hometown, merged with a different university in 2002 due to the low morale of university professors, the main cause of which was low pay. At that time, the university was in a healthy financial condition thanks to a huge amount of grants from the local government, but it spent most of it on refurbishing its facilities, not on compensating teachers. The act of the university was taken negatively by many professors, and this lead to a decrease in their motivation. Consequently, many of the professors left the university and moved to different universities that extended better offers. All of this resulted in the merger, and apparently, this was not a favorable outcome for either the university or its students. Therefore, there is no doubt that spending more money on professors’ salaries is the key to the successful operation of universities and the quality of education offered thereby.

In summary, the university should spend more of its income on professors’ salaries. Not only will this motivate the professors, but it also lowers the risk for universities of losing them. Since professors are so important to making sure students get a good education, we should tell universities not to cut back on how much they pay them.(514 Words)

• イントロダクション（52語、3文）
• ボディ１（222語、8文）
• ボディ２（182語、7文）
• コンクルージョン（58語、3文）